i'm sure if i stay here long enough something will happen. someone will ask me for directions. the wind will pick up. the stars will fall out of the sky. if i keep my eyes open without waking up i'll see something. not a dream, a dream in a dream? a dream in a dream... i don't feel anything coming. am i more beautiful asleep? am i more seen at nighttime? the wind hasn't changed. that cloud is sleeping. something is going to happen. something when i wake up from waking up--the dream will show me myself, show me falling stars, ask me questions, push me in some direction.

bands

the storm has passed. now i have brief time for leisure. i am listening to real music again. have been thinking of my favorite bands (not solo artists). they have changed drastically over time. past favorites include belle & sebastian, low, and cocteau twins. boat/natsumen is my all-time fave. but nagisa ni te is my current fave and will be for some time, i think. they are honest, simple and organic without being safe or sappy. also, japanese music has a firm, black and twisted hold on my heart.

I stopped stifling my breath
And inhaled deeply

In a place without words
My insides split open

Just like that
I ran outside, my feet bare

It happened like a dream
Too transiently
Like ash flying

I want to know more
About the light

Again and again over and over exhaling
Until I turn transparent

My body floating in water
Holding your hand

i am in the ukraine, working.

this is a pic from my last trip to ukraine. i would like to repeat this experience.

friendship

the mask

our beach, the beach's we

cast your weariness down the dune
and your dread into the shoals,
every pain you've ever felt
is scattered here and brought to ruin

those jagged shards of memory
encrusted on the hull of childhood
drop, polished to beads of glass,
smooth to touch -- hard to see

that dark oil ribboned tightly
to make wreckage of your lift
dissipates with whipping wind,
indifferent endless waves, and me

we'll return another time
to our beach, the beach's we,
numberless and unencumbered,
swirling grains within the brine

FOUR+LETR+WORD

PAIN#SAVE#HOUR#DRAW
HOME#LACK#CARE#LAND
WIND#TEAR#READ#LIVE
GONE$WHEN$PART$MORE
DEAR$LONE$LEFT$TREE
REAP%FALL%BURY%WILL
SONG%WING%HUNG%PAST
THEN\HERE\PAGE\STAY
WITH!RUST!TURN!FREE
LORD!BLUE!RAIL!DAMN
TAKE-FAST-WARN-ROAD
LIKE.FIRE.BACK.WEPT
WELL WAKE DEEP NECK