i miss you

but not enough of you

what you were

is now formlessness

the healing process

can feel like erasure

pain is holding on

grasping at memory

with broken fists

dumb and mute

is loving

the now gone
love on its way to you
got bent like light thru glass
caught on doubt mid-air
some mild indifference
enough to warp affection
refracted lengthwise
then diluted
see it bilocate
into rainbow
here it lands
there it hangs
arched among us
anchorless already
glimmering away


river doesn't meditate
on the pain of its emptying
or the majesty of its source

its running is meditation
its changing is ceremony
stillness is next to godlessness

to the fawn in the brush
the entrails of the doe
spilled upon the frozen garden
symbolize nothing.
in the story of the fawn
there is no story.


too dark

i'm eclipsed and have been emitting less light, withholding
radiance, just barely recognizable by the coronal shape of critical
absence, over the distance is silence, through the silence is

meaning here
meaning now, is refracted
it's over there, it's later on
doubling back on itself so i can't follow it
to my new life,
i'm too dark, too beyond my own control