5/28/2024

i know this day
the aches of time -
stopping is dull pain
going is sharp
try to do neither
as minutes sag into days
days stretch into minutes

i know my goal
has a goal of its own
we both want to survive
hunger has teeth -
hunter, prey
hunter, pray
for my moment -
going feels like waiting
feels like waiting to stop

4/09/2024

k4

arm stretched like chewing gum, legs melting upward

as the painted dome rises from above and falls

from below - it's here.

there's circuitry in the vascular walls

pumping existence thru tiny corridors - it's this.

the neon caramel navy turns septic, then polygonal, then filigree

matching facet for facet the violin strings which drop like dead birds

to sweep up in a gyre, breaking and threatening to break

breaking and threatening to

and all the while the dome reverberates and rotates between

past and fiction and song and place and person and touch

and planet and particle and part - it's now.

3/26/2024

the cave

my wrists are tied - 

the light is high

on the face of the world -

and all my loss - and all my life

is blurred


i see my future lover

as a flicker on stone -

dancing with my corpse

and am in bliss

alone -


and rapt, apart -

my heart is young -

and in the dark -

my hope is hung -

2/29/2024

Some ways out

Some ways out and closing, across the arc of horizon a bulging anvil of black thunderclouds erupt and seethe like night made corporeal or all-deleting miasma spewed from the void's cauldron and I stand in wait watching it crash closer, churning the vast wasteland into revolted particulate adding unto itself, feeding and enlarging as if for brood, faster and louder roaring an ancient proclamation of arriving at the end, stampeding all oblivious in its destruction, engorged in self-perpetuation, now nearly upon me, blindly ravishing the sole and still witness to its coming from some unspeakable unmeasured abyss to here, to heed, its empty heralding signifying nothing save Nothing, not even to me, its casualty, its dirt, its supplicant.

1/21/2024

the possessed

your story on my bed is my story of you in my bed
and almost mine then, and soon
the blurry border of memory billows
were you mine, was your mind mine
and your heart and my kiss what of those
was fictionless dream
might be dreamless day after dreamless day

what a long night, wasted
help me lie
stay a statue
under the unreal waves
lost, let me wander
the undersea ruins of fantasy
to marvel at all my worthless riches


---


Freezing

Snow dusted, moon eyed
my angel my angel
Death white longing frozen in your eyes
My every breath my every touch
dissolves the icy filigree 
Do you recoil from my kiss
or melt through my fingers 
Who you are is what we have is what I want is disappearing 
Frozen garden on my lips 
Trying to hold you close while holding back the flame inside while holding you afar
hurts
hurts

Hurts
Show me you want my love 
Love like evaporating snow
like evaporating
like evaporating

1/19/2024

focus sleep please

i remember i'm alive when i see you
and i get afraid of death

i wish you could stay here wrapped in my life
happy to be restrained

stillness in love but that's inhuman
we hurt to move

constant gain and constant loss until our final giving
past present future braided too tight

focus focus focus, can't let in
sleep sleep sleep, go away
please please please, come

11/23/2023

the real to the unreal

too hot, on the bed that night
shirts off, in the phantom light
of the city, in this hardened land
skin on skin, under the ceiling fan
   one step forward on the beam of life
then one more, above the pale abyss
and onward, even, kiss for kiss
upon each eye to charm your sight
   i pray, let me enter and cease to be,
take my essence into your life,
be yourself to give birth to me,
use my stillness to ease your strife
   the scene, you on the bed tonight
complete, in the phantom light
of the city, in this fleeting land,
ever holding an empty hand