6/18/2017

She wanted to think of nothing,
to leave everything behind.
   So the angry joy of want,
   too the mirror in her mind.

"Life is not a string of pearls.
Life is not one gem.
Nor is it homeward-
   bound or stray,"
she thought,
then threw the thought
   away.

Her soulless body turned aside
to join nothing, over there,
where there isn't
  Space enough
  or Time at all, to care.

6/14/2017

mmmm what      are       you.
i love
like the sea floor waits
or the clock condemns
which is to say
a saying instead of saying
(that i don't
love
at all)
it.

buuuut maybe     i
want you
like the rain wants to rain
no. scratch that
like the ant wants to serve
a noble mind with simple purpose devoid of self
something like that
but better

6/11/2017

god writes without words
she is without herself
and the story
is unwritten, isn't not written
is unread, isn't not read
is untold, isn't not told

a life without man
is not his life, but is life
a world without names
cannot be his
but his he claims
for when god unsaid, " "
man spoke, "Man"

5/31/2017

a painting in history

i saw a painting of a painting of a boy who looked like a stain that looked like a boy
sitting at the river lost in thought, lost in color on canvas
his pigmented soul fading in strokes to bare canvas
the bare skin of his arms goose bumped gold and brown
i got lost in thought i thought

i studied it in history in the library in history in a book in history
i looked to study to see the painting in the painting of the stain of the boy
once wet, now dry and spread out into form to form a form of a boy
who is destined for greatness
to be studied
in history
to be seen
and prayed to and questioned,
"who is destined for greatness?"

5/16/2017

i've got no one to lighten up
but everyone to blame
i'm outside of life, looking in
and death - from out - the same

i light my past on fire
then eat some ice cream
then sleep my regrets away
if i could only only only only only
(ddrreeeeeeeeaaaaammm)

oh baby baby touch me
said the bullet to the brain
and embracing steel braced me
for the neverlasting pain

sunshine sally's dancing all over my grave!
i feel a little put off
but i pretend not to mind
and spin 'til i find
a better position to rot

4/07/2017

i was stillborn in spring
with wet feathers and a broken face
wrecked upon the nest in my porcelain grave.
my mother sang her horror
none listened.
none can say what her wild gray eyes beheld
it was not me for i was not.
my brothers screamed of hunger
and heeding, she shot away

1/26/2017

Endow me with your knowledge
The seed of your fruit
From the tree of your life
So that I might learn
To unlearn it

---

One moment, talking, laughing
Another, lost in a poison fog
Of course death awaits
Of course of course yes
But in the meantime?

Stop.
In the meantime?
What.
And why not
Constancy
Meaning
Choice
Null, all -
    Deathly illusion

A scrap among runts
(The strong make peace)
A tantrum, to last, here.

1/17/2017

triptych

                i dunno
                       what he’s
                     thinking
                          but he’s wrong
                     i hope   he chokes
                     ugly and cheap
                  who talks
                     like that anyway
                     and her
                     stupid trifles
           i'm     not what            they say
shaking inside       i’m going home    earth’s peace, rusted
still outside          fuck            is a crooked crown
a smooth steel shell   this      fought against
atomic heart beating      look      yet gained
aching to burst              light    yet worn