always, mirror, bruise

Relieved, believe the lie
believe the bored will never
sigh, but rapt and dazzled
always
- remain at your side

Why challenge the ruse
why decipher the trick
take the smoke and
mirror
- as a gentler magic

Hold fast to the joy
that holds fast to you
its grip and spreading
bruise
- are traces of the truth

monitoring

• live webcam footage of man grooming himself in bathroom mirror while muttering blandishments he learned from a self-help book
• subtitles [ (man speaking foreign language) ]
• scroll to settings, system, advanced, update system from package, insert black market drive w/ jailbreak file
• restart system
• return to webcam 200544
• man is gone, mirror empty
• subtitles [ ]
• man returns, spits out toothpaste, grins as if practicing being human, resumes muttering blithe self-affirmations 
• subtitles [you have nothing, nothing left, nothing but your sins, well, sins are enough aren't they, your actions must be paid, even to death, even beyond death]
• uninformative, change channel

discover less to become more
the feet you land on land on land off all known maps
please don't leave/take a flag/photo
please do forget mismemorize the thought
always there never here never found so never lost

stay seeking downward corebound endward level
unfold your life into proton gossamer

gain the lack all threads go slack
a little pull until it snaps

always only even

always only even
though as it seems
even still in terms
of notwithstanding
although would
rather and knowing
that in consideration
then whichever
with that assumption
all told but also it's
finally done take anything

my baby i love i love the war my love is something to offer you tonight tonight only always only even though as it seems even still in terms of notwithstanding although would rather and knowing that in consideration then whichever with that assumption all told but also it's finally done take anything

i can say i love,
my body my singing blood, você
ten thousand dawns aren't that many
dez mil sóis, one afternoon, a blossom
of gold becomes the sky, becomes
attestation of affection, affection
when you're sitting where i can see you, i can see you
count one canary,
forty-thousand begging stamens,
a million glistening honey pots
as nil, not to be summed
my open throat of adoration, my petal
i see you i see you i see you
i see you
and see you
our joy
our joy is a horn erupting i praise you, i praise you
embrace me heal elevate me, affection
affection affection, carinho carinho carinho

touch me
god
that's heaven
else i am
else-if i’m not
playing in a graveyard
with corpses
no more weakness
no more lack
the truth is

touch me god
must i admit
may i submit
the mind is only dreaming
else i am
always alone
always free

no more weakness, no
more anymore
only men
only love me
just for a bit

                 i remember a
               bird ripped apart
                  downy gore
                 my own hands
               soft, destruction
                  i was lost
                not looking up
                 sky-avoidant
                  downward
                mute as stone
                 as a means of
                  departure
           de de de depar tur ture depa 
        departure departure departure depart 
     departure depart no remember departure departure
  depart departurei sky departure departure depart departure   
  departure departblood, torn apart departure departure  
 departure depart my own, selfdeparture depart departure
  departure departi was, destruction departure departure depart
 departure departure departure departure departure departure
depart departure departure departure departure 
                  departure 
                  departure