the wind and snow won't relent
my eyeballs feel nearly frozen, i stare at my feet
as i march toward the darkening horizon

the white landscape turning to ash as the sun rolls away
let me check the mail - just junk
let me empty the dishwasher

i empty the dishwasher

i try to meditate i am emptying the dishwasher now

but i'm so very tired

i should leave here but i don't know the way

another hour of video games, feeling near frozen

stare at my feet, when did it start snowing

the streets are already white

and all the people hurry toward the darkening horizon

i can barely see the snow

all i see is snow

should i bother to clean this window screen

when spring comes, as the sun rolls away

i take a seat on the couch and wonder why i

should leave here but i don't know the way

don't know why i should keep this place nice at all

should i water the plants or did i already

turn to ash, ash for miles and miles

freezing ash that burns my eyes

I'd nothing left

before I quit

I took a breath - 

and released it

into a Life

as living proof

I took a lie

and made it truth

I took one moment

then many more

I took a visitor

behind locked door

I gave him all of

my scarcity

And all my taking

he took from me

the fated gnostic genesis

proceeds at no behest

the human family burns itself

alive, from birth to death.

revolted blood engorges

the severed spiral brain

afar a star unborn unlinks

from earth's celestial chain.

the lock is a door

the corpse is a lamb

the heart is a whore

the way is a dam.

I was experiencing the future now

now

now

now

It will be, is, and was miserable.

Never was I always waiting.

In the final sweep,

Nothing is revealed

in Its immaculate entirety.

I am not called but I will

go to meet my maker.

I go to take revenge.

k5 / Briefly be

Orbiting a void circling half-sloped
blacked-out arcs of abyssal light,
formless placeless
the wordless path written in the stars,
instructions for the mechanism,
the balance wheel and gears of fate,
perfect and perpetual.

No out, only in.
I want to escape
not disintegrate only to reintegrate
in fractal cities rising and falling

and rising into cities spinning

and hollow then solid,

like I too am built and rebuilt

by no one with no one's energy or matter,
a single glint from an infinite mirror.

Begin to end,
a tear waters the seed
and ancient red cells spill out their color. 
I am, briefly.
Darkly I see
fluttering lashes of light empty
all light into emptiness.

---

Perceiving perception reveals blindness.
Dimly see, briefly be.

let there be dark

and sound and touch

and dance and sex

let light penetrate dark

let dark receive its perfect beam

a ceremony

in exquisite dappling

let the tempo of life be

waves and beats

breaths and thrusts

risings and settings

cycles and orbits

contracting expanses

expanding contractions

i know this day
the aches of time -
stopping is dull pain
going is sharp
try to do neither
as minutes sag into days
days stretch into minutes

i know my goal
has a goal of its own
we both want to survive
hunger has teeth -
hunter, prey
hunter, pray
for my moment -
going feels like waiting
then waiting and waiting
and waiting to stop