1/16/2019

"i look fat..." she trailed off
dumb dreaming bitch
phasing in and out of extinction for likes likes likes!

the glitter of her death throes dazzle you baby
"baby baby baby death death death" with diamonds
make god rue the day she rested!

the mad prismatic language of the pink plastic storefront
screams a contemporary tongue
shouts its whole lexicon at our stupid faces: "buy buy buy!"

1/14/2019

left v right

we're synthesized
and soon realize
that time never gives back

we are created
and we're donated
to Living, forcibly
to enduring facticity

we are loaned our selves
and we borrow death
or is it theft
some go to the light,
unbereft
you choose left
i go right

1/06/2019

Now isn't the time or treason to say yes or no when maybe is what we need. The joy of sex of gun and bullet, the curiosity, the cunt of it. The pain no gain and disregard. The lack of control smacks of control. Go beyond hello, a casual remark leaves no mark. The abandonment. What would you know, you weigh it up, but can't keep count.


They’ve got a way to fix it
I’ve been hearing great things but
It’s inexplicable and
Cost-prohibitive and
Death-definitive
Do you want to look into it cuz
Your head’s not on right
Can you see that, look
Here, there
Is a thing that’ll help
Ask your doctor
If it's right for you
But it’s less a pill and
More a belief -
More like delusion
Than relief

12/29/2018

my withered hands soar over water
across islands, born and unborn
from and beyond the dim horizon
i lay crystalline lace
over cooling magma,
mossy visages of rock,
living mortals,
and their dead gods.
i tire
but cannot leave the loom
while there is light in the day
there is light in my eyes
unblinking, seeking and making
the invisible pattern -
i make and am made

12/17/2018

i want you to take
nice easy breaths
in through your nose
and out through your mouth
i'm going to put my hands
here

and

here

and place just a few fingers here

and

here

just feeling for specific areas that may be holding
negative energy
perhaps here

or

here

down on your chin
over here

and

here

moving up your cheek
to alleviate any stress
much of this tension appears
to be spreading

focus on the air
leaving your lungs
'til it begins to soften
i'll be very careful
you're in the early
stages of annihilation
feel my hand
here

and



11/14/2018

walking runner huh
cut to down emphatic
heavy setback
i see it!

feeling expansive
missing you less
minuscule deaths
ha!

reach me
please will die
swaying so
eating my emotions
selfish shrinking
heavy fault

feeling expansive
a missing you inside
honesty sickness air
a funeral infinite
won't reach me

eating away
quietness quietly
laughing at
ha!

11/08/2018

dissipation

answer me / truthfully

was it waste
was it lie
to hate, in haste,
cut, cum, comply,
and never cease
to not be chaste,
shirk recompense,
sincere reply?
or overreaching,
sink to preaching
of dangers of the
aimless life?

answer me / truthfully

10/13/2018

when i was sick
like now
ain’t nobody come
round here
but i ain’t nobody
sometimes
anyhow

i
don’t wanna know you
i just wanna feel you

once

i got a bit of doubt
sensed i was worth more
til i tested it out

10/02/2018

i'm feelin hard n' feelin hurt
been draggin myself around town,
tradin sorrow with guilt don't work
but ya gotta try, when you're down.
figure maybe i'm in love
or maybe i'm near death
mistakin every kindness
for 'nother borrowed breath.
hmm think i'll throw a party
to myself, in the spirit -
of farewell to my whole life
but i won't be there to see it.

^ in the style of belle & sebastian w/ a bit of american twang somehow. lots of lilting piano to break it up over ~2 minutes.

9/08/2018

she woke in sadness. the dream-goodbye fell away, as the curtain of dawn slips from the granite face. she was left in longing, unrested, alone in the whispering valley. she looked up at the dark wall, the kingless castle in the sky, and willed it to crumble. it did not. she looked away. the dream-goodbye is gone but not far, circling high overhead.

9/05/2018

ecstatic

uh uh uh huhuh uh uhuh huhh huh ecstatic
embrace me gently, skeletonly
into the night intently
dark-en-ing so sweetly
uh huh uh uh huh huh uh uh uhhh ecstatic
uh uh uh uh huhuh uh uh uh ecstatic
come on baby
get off me baby
repair imper-a-tive-ly
it's light-en-ing already
dawn has started thrusting
uh uh ecstatic-ly

8/26/2018

nothing compares

i float across the parking lot under the concrete sky. i'm detached, i'm gonna buy shoes. silently i sing along with prince, "i went to the doctor and guess what he told me, guess what he told me? he said, 'boy you better try to have fun no matter what you do,' but he's a fool." yeah, they've all been fools. today i strut through the mall with a gold chain around my neck that reads "death poems," cuz when i'm feeling extra immaterial i drape myself in extra materials, i suck up shit like the, like the what, like the $49.94 bissell powerforce, on sale, hmm good deal. i see and am seen by the bissell, and the girl at the iphone case kiosk, and the looming crowds. i look down on it all, and my place within it. i am sullied but mostly sully (what, what do i sully, the earth, by this purchase of slave-made plastic, i hate it).

eventually i find the shoes, i make them my shoes, it is done.

i could have bought them on amazon, i could have bought the whole mall there, but the car ride, the parking lot/sky slab combo, the unchanged food court of my childhood, the nylon sheen of the sneakers, the cashier's searching eyes - they dissolve the haze. they are the wheels for the journey of the purchase, and the comic foil to the sadness of the song. "all the flowers that you planted, mama, in the backyard all died when you went away."