12/17/2018

i want you to take
nice easy breaths
in through your nose
and out through your mouth
i'm going to put my hands
here

and

here

and place just a few fingers here

and

here

just feeling for specific areas that may be holding
negative energy
perhaps here

or

here

down on your chin
over here

and

here

moving up your cheek
to alleviate any stress
much of this tension appears
to be spreading

focus on the air
leaving your lungs
'til it begins to soften
i'll be very careful
you're in the early
stages of annihilation
feel my hand
here

and

here

11/14/2018

walking runner huh
cut to down emphatic
heavy setback
i see it!

feeling expansive
missing you less
minuscule deaths
ha!

reach me
please will die
swaying so
eating my emotions
selfish shrinking
heavy fault

feeling expansive
a missing you inside
honesty sickness air
a funeral infinite
won't reach me

eating away
quietness quietly
laughing at
ha!

11/08/2018

dissipation

answer me / truthfully

was it waste
was it lie
to hate, in haste,
cut, cum, comply,
and never cease
to not be chaste,
shirk recompense,
sincere reply?
or overreaching,
sink to preaching
of dangers of the
aimless life?

answer me / truthfully

10/13/2018

when i was sick
like now
ain’t nobody come
round here
but i ain’t nobody
sometimes
anyhow

i
don’t wanna know you
i just wanna feel you

once

i got a bit of doubt
sensed i was worth more
til i tested it out

10/02/2018

i'm feelin hard n' feelin hurt
been draggin myself around town,
tradin sorrow with guilt don't work
but ya gotta try, when you're down.
figure maybe i'm in love
or maybe i'm near death
mistakin every kindness
for 'nother borrowed breath.
hmm think i'll throw a party
to myself, in the spirit -
of farewell to my whole life
but i won't be there to see it.

^ in the style of belle & sebastian w/ a bit of american twang somehow. lots of lilting piano to break it up over ~2 minutes.

9/08/2018

she woke in sadness. the dream-goodbye fell away, as the curtain of dawn slips from the granite face. she was left in longing, unrested, alone in the whispering valley. she looked up at the dark wall, the kingless castle in the sky, and willed it to crumble. it did not. she looked away. the dream-goodbye is gone but not far, circling high overhead.

9/05/2018

ecstatic

uh uh uh huhuh uh uhuh huhh huh ecstatic
embrace me gently, skeletonly
into the night intently
dark-en-ing so sweetly
uh huh uh uh huh huh uh uh uhhh ecstatic
uh uh uh uh huhuh uh uh uh ecstatic
come on baby
get off me baby
repair imper-a-tive-ly
it's light-en-ing already
dawn has started thrusting
uh uh ecstatic-ly

8/26/2018

nothing compares

i float across the parking lot under the concrete sky. i'm detached, i'm gonna buy shoes. silently i sing along with prince, "i went to the doctor and guess what he told me, guess what he told me? he said, 'boy you better try to have fun no matter what you do,' but he's a fool." yeah, they've all been fools. today i strut through the mall with a gold chain around my neck that reads "death poems," cuz when i'm feeling extra immaterial i drape myself in extra materials, i suck up shit like the, like the what, like the $49.94 bissell powerforce, on sale, hmm good deal. i see and am seen by the bissell, and the girl at the iphone case kiosk, and the looming crowds. i look down on it all, and my place within it. i am sullied but mostly sully (what, what do i sully, the earth, by this purchase of slave-made plastic, i hate it).

eventually i find the shoes, i make them my shoes, it is done.

i could have bought them on amazon, i could have bought the whole mall there, but the car ride, the parking lot/sky slab combo, the unchanged food court of my childhood, the nylon sheen of the sneakers, the cashier's searching eyes - they dissolve the haze. they are the wheels for the journey of the purchase, and the comic foil to the sadness of the song. "all the flowers that you planted, mama, in the backyard all died when you went away."

8/14/2018

a man drowning
gasping emptily
wide eyed wild
sea water pouring into him
flailing flashing life,
every dumb step
a spasm in his lungs
compounding the pain
the pain of memory
the shameful parade
the pain of drowning
he wants to scream
but lacks the air
his mind screams
he sees
then,
 hark,
  mother!
a gust of light
on angel wings
descends from clouded moon
quickly arm outstretched
her hand
he knows this radiant hand
his hope is an arrow to it
her blessed fingers press
between his frenzied eyes
downward gently
into the churning sea
to quiet him
to hush the tantrum
of his life

Be leaf

"Be leaf to know belief,"
sang tree to seed on stormy reach -
One screaming wrenching
underneathing
every child she'd
never leave'd

8/12/2018

The Aquamarine Chariot
charges to land's beginning
outpacing even
the winds’ own wheels
Its glass facade splinters in bolts -
Stampeding, unheeding
while gathering ire
unsheathing and speeding
to the island of fire -

Waves hurl herselves
awash in bells
(the tireless immortal sea
debased in her futility)
toward Land, her lord
to ward (or horde?)
the shining swimmers,
shells and glimmers
of sandy bottles
cracked ashore

8/07/2018

daytime tv

transcribed on
black ribbon:
"can you help us
brunch h ? []"
smiling blonde
a plant
for the host
she looks
like she
believes
in heaven
her lips are from hell
steve harvey's face
ghastly plastic
above closed
scrambled captions
"brunc h grls club i am 25"
this blonde beacon
is pushing forty
is not blonde
pan to seated
female smiles
in bright jewel tones