4/07/2010

a chronology of musical associations

  • early tori amos = high school, misery
  • bright eyes = early college
  • imogen heap, certain duran duran, bic runga's drive = quasi first love
  • bic runga's beautiful collision, boat = tokyo
  • low's curtain hits the cast = leaving, returning, failing, leaving1
  • damien rice, certain emiliana torrini, death ambient = first bf, both apartments
  • archer prewitt, broken social scene, arcade fire, antony & the johnsons = mori-machi
  • donnie & seiko, mew = early days of current bf
  • nina simone, mia, joanna newsom, kate bush = friends of late days of columbia
  • cocteau twins, faye wong's xing bu lai = me

footnote:
1i am looking south - i am sailing south
across an ocean that smells like you
that tastes like you inside my mouth
your eyes one deeply generous view -
a lilting, wet, atlantic blue

sprawled bare upon the weathered boards
i see a keen arc cut the sky -
as though the cloud was shorn by sword -
then light pours out so bright that i
must shield from you my weeping eyes

because though wrought for leaning toward
such light - from burden bright they shy
extracted from their dark accord
alike the heart, in use denied

3/31/2010

ohana means family


when you live in nyc, you get a lot of strange visitors. some friends visited during a rush of good weather. spring ate and ran. we went to the park and saw kentuckians marry. we gawked at sunbathers on the christopher street pier. we angered security guards. we ate a lot. we bitched a lot. and through it all, we learned and loved to hate.

3/17/2010

artifact

chest hurts with expected surprise at lack of notice given when all signals as misdirected and divided pulses have been sent over the ocean on shimmering harp strings though covered in wet dust dry moss hugged by fog, be still but still but still but confess: (unreadable) maybe scrawling out a dream sequence as a substitute for directness isn't cutting deep or clean enough for world's idiots to decipher that (unreadable) heart is calcium decaying every day like shells on shores, all life moving with bone and all emotion pushing out salt and all avoidance attracting as (unreadable) to (unreadable).

rosetta stone:

fragment- invest time and/or energy in fill in the blank
fragment- a well thought-out stream of conciousness
fragment- abandonment, soaring flags over vallies

3/06/2010

kate bush in books


when i read wuthering heights, i pictured catherine, the spirited protagonist, to look like kate bush because of the latter's famous song. then i read the idiot in which i cast kate bush as the tragic, fiery nastasya filippovna. and these days, i've given her the lead role in tolstoy's anna karenina. maybe my casting choices are getting predictable. kate's probably tired of playing strong and beautiful. i'm also reading the sailor who fell from grace with the sea, which is set in the seaport city of yokohama after world war II. i can probably find a brutish japanese boatman role for her... something without any lines, more like a cameo...

2/19/2010

excerpt from anna karenina


"O my sweet!" he said inwardly to Frou-Frou, as he listened for what was happening behind. "He's cleared it!" he thought, catching the thud of Gladiator's hoofs behind him. There remained only the last ditch, filled with water and five feet wide. Vronsky did not even look at it, but anxious to get in a long way first began sawing away at the reins, lifting the mare's head and letting it go in time with her paces. He felt that the mare was at her very last reserve of strength; not her neck and shoulders merely were wet, but the sweat was standing in drops on her mane, her head, her sharp ears, and her breath came in short, sharp gasps. But he knew that she had strength left more than enough for the remaining five hundred yards. It was only from feeling himself nearer the ground and from the peculiar smoothness of his motion that Vronsky knew how greatly the mare had quickened her pace. She flew over the ditch as though not noticing it. She flew over it like a bird; but at the same instant Vronsky, to his horror, felt that he had failed to keep up with the mare's pace, that he had, he did not know how, made a fearful, unpardonable mistake, in recovering his seat in the saddle. All at once his position had shifted and he knew that something awful had happened. He could not yet make out what had happened, when the white legs of a chestnut horse flashed by close to him, and Mahotin passed at a swift gallop. Vronsky was touching the ground with one foot, and his mare was sinking on that foot. He just had time to free his leg when she fell on one side, gasping painfully, and, making vain efforts to rise with her delicate, soaking neck, she fluttered on the ground at his feet like a shot bird. The clumsy movement made by Vronsky had broken her back. But that he only knew much later. At that moment he knew only that Mahotin had flown swiftly by, while he stood staggering alone on the muddy, motionless ground, and Frou-Frou lay gasping before him, bending her head back and gazing at him with her exquisite eyes. Still unable to realize what had happened, Vronsky tugged at his mare's reins. Again she struggled all over like a fish, and her shoulders setting the saddle heaving, she rose on her front legs but unable to lift her back, she quivered all over and again fell on her side. With a face hideous with passion, his lower jaw trembling, and his cheeks white, Vronsky kicked her with his heel in the stomach and again fell to tugging at the rein. She did not stir, but thrusting her nose into the ground, she simply gazed at her master with her speaking eyes.

"A—a—a!" groaned Vronsky, clutching at his head. "Ah! what have I done!" he cried. "The race lost! And my fault! shameful, unpardonable! And the poor darling, ruined mare! Ah! what have I done!"

2/12/2010

think like a baby

i was at an indian restaurant one day with friends when i heard a small child across the room babble what sounded like, "nick nolte." i told another friend about this, and she vowed to make her child's first words be "nick nolte."

when he's old enough to eat it, i'm getting him a birthday cake with nolte's mug airbrushed on it. poorly. maybe stick some candles in the eyes and the wax melt down real low. then i'll take another picture and post it here. thus shall we mark the years.

2/05/2010

do not delay
daniel open the door
do for me
damage control
i gotta stop wondering
—to be free—
what or if
you think of me