tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18154477268698671012024-03-19T04:47:07.672-04:00ROOTwing, blade, glass, stepUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger183125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815447726869867101.post-51534142577698392482024-02-29T23:30:00.007-05:002024-03-02T15:31:20.158-05:00Some ways out<p>Some ways out and closing, across the arc of horizon a bulging anvil of black thunderclouds erupt and seethe like night made corporeal or all-deleting miasma spewed from the void's cauldron and I stand in wait watching it crash closer, churning the vast wasteland into revolted particulate adding unto itself, feeding and enlarging as if for brood, faster and louder roaring an ancient proclamation of arriving at the end, stampeding all oblivious in its destruction, engorged in self-perpetuation, now nearly upon me, blindly ravishing the sole and still witness to its coming from some unspeakable unmeasured abyss to here, to heed, its empty heralding signifying nothing save Nothing, not even to me, its casualty, its dirt, its supplicant.</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815447726869867101.post-83436300076946838052024-01-21T18:51:00.010-05:002024-01-22T10:31:01.552-05:00<div style="text-align: left;">the possessed</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">your story on my bed is my story of you in my bed<br />and almost mine then, and soon</div><div style="text-align: left;">the blurry border of memory billows</div><div style="text-align: left;">were you mine, was your mind mine<br />and your heart and my kiss what of those<br />was fictionless dream</div><div style="text-align: left;">might be dreamless day after dreamless day</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">what a long night, wasted</div><div style="text-align: left;">help me lie</div><div style="text-align: left;">stay a statue</div><div style="text-align: left;">under the unreal waves<br />lost, let me wander<br />the undersea ruins of fantasy</div><div style="text-align: left;">to marvel at all my worthless riches</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />---</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Freezing</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Snow dusted, moon eyed</div><div style="text-align: left;">my angel my angel<br />Death white longing frozen in your eyes<br />My every breath my every touch</div><div style="text-align: left;">dissolves the icy filigree <br />Do you recoil from my kiss<br />or melt through my fingers <br />Who you are is what we have is what I want is disappearing <br />Frozen garden on my lips <br />Trying to hold you close while holding back the flame inside while holding you afar</div><div style="text-align: left;">hurts</div><div style="text-align: left;">hurts</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Hurts<br />Show me you want my love <br />Love like evaporating snow</div><div style="text-align: left;">like evaporating</div><div style="text-align: left;">like evaporating</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815447726869867101.post-69227313374571117222024-01-19T13:35:00.006-05:002024-01-22T10:38:38.096-05:00focus sleep please<p>i remember i'm alive when i see you<br />and i get afraid of death</p><p>i wish you could stay here wrapped in my life<br />happy to be restrained</p><p>stillness in love but that's inhuman<br />we hurt to move</p><p>constant gain and constant loss until our final giving<br />past present future braided too tight</p><p>focus focus focus, can't let in<br />sleep sleep sleep, go away<br />please please please, come</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815447726869867101.post-47933566824169250952023-11-23T13:58:00.003-05:002023-11-23T17:05:03.954-05:00the real to the unreal<div style="text-align: left;">too hot, on the bed that night<br />shirts off, in the phantom light<br />of the city, in this hardened land<br />skin on skin, under the ceiling fan</div><div style="text-align: left;"> one step forward on the beam of life<br />then one more, above the pale abyss<br />and onward, even, kiss for kiss<br />upon each eye to charm your sight</div><div style="text-align: left;"> i pray, let me enter and cease to be,<br />take my essence into your life,<br />be yourself to give birth to me,<br />use my stillness to ease your strife</div><div style="text-align: left;"> the scene, you on the bed tonight<br />complete, in the phantom light<br />of the city, in this fleeting land,<br />ever holding an empty hand</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815447726869867101.post-69433016377165242612023-11-03T16:52:00.003-04:002023-11-23T13:24:40.731-05:00k3<p>Dark home family childhood, My friends and family are my life and my acquaintances are my life, Internal infinite kingdom, Skeleton framework of location/existence comes to--Cellular reds respirating--life </p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815447726869867101.post-74075488293223309972023-11-03T16:50:00.006-04:002024-01-19T13:37:06.581-05:00<p>you can stare and be conquered by the chaos of the peaceful sea</p><p>or you can shut your eyes to the watery blaze</p><p>and try to submerge the sound of waves</p><p>deep in panicked aversion</p><p>but still it crashes and crashes and still it crashes it crashes still it crashes still</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815447726869867101.post-8879855414055584922023-09-25T20:17:00.004-04:002023-09-25T20:18:38.269-04:00<p>lost in the light-dappled darkness </p><p>the striations in the cloud-stricken stars </p><p>scatter a greeting: welcome and goodbye</p><p>welcome and goodbye to our ancient future</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815447726869867101.post-12510973524463487422023-08-08T21:20:00.003-04:002023-08-14T20:23:46.212-04:00(b)(p)(w)(s)<div>(the point in spacetime when coalescence of self completed)</div><div>(inviting many to celebrate, receiving one</div><div>decorations and cake</div><div>like a slash to the face)</div><div>(existent then)</div><div>(behold the gift</div><div>this necklace of blood crystals</div><div>dappled with shimmering teardrops</div><div>it dazzles as it chokes)</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815447726869867101.post-29596673043165691992023-08-06T23:38:00.000-04:002023-08-06T23:38:14.240-04:00i want to see the seain other words, self consciousness<div>at the boundary of individual throbbing into collective<div>like order seeks to inseminate itself into high entropy<br />on land, knowing the empty sky by its radiation<br />a pair of seagulls circling manhattan towers seek and seek</div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815447726869867101.post-17483581566165936212023-07-22T14:06:00.012-04:002023-11-23T17:14:00.125-05:00youtube / the houseSure but if you go back far enough, everyone is guilty, and everyone is innocent. And that grand breakeven doesn’t cleanse you or me or anyone. The thirst for blood has never lessened in the throat of man. How many of the 2.4M people who watched this youtube video on elevating consciousness ever escaped the prison of their minds? More or less than the number who clicked the ad for the unisex jewelry brand sponsoring it? Nobody knows these analytics. The battle march continues in narrow hallways that lead to echo chambers. If the storm doesn’t last, I’ll miss my chance to go for a run in the broken splashing beams of rainlight, and my life will have shrunk the length of another video, this one on vulnerability in the corporate workplace. The likes and comments are buoying the notion of capitalism as religion. The crowd is going wild. In the time it took me to detect the bullshit and hey siri the hourly forecast, the rain stopped, so I kept watching. <div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>This house has no exterior because its tenants have no interior. The battle march continues in narrow hallways leading to echo chambers echo echo chambers leading to echo. Every would-be quiet corner of escape and solitude overflows with ever-growing shiny useless products, and greasy bones, and radioactive soot, and stacked boxes of long-held, longer-forgotten memories, individually formed and collectively discarded. The black in the windows isn't night. A knock at the door retracts itself into the void. No one can live here yet everyone does, alone.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815447726869867101.post-68788472186347427832023-06-18T22:36:00.006-04:002023-06-20T16:34:51.709-04:00<p>another opiate open-wide day along</p><p>a long long line of dread wrapping</p><p>like a thread around a throat to mute</p><p>a thought left alone to sleepwalk off</p><p>a cliff and go deep down in the dark</p><p>of the day in the run-on stream of time</p><p>carrying it all away and around again</p><p>to another wide-open opiate day along</p><p>a dead long line of dread wrapping</p><p>like a throat around a cry to kill</p><p>a hope left alone to sleepwalk off</p><p>a cliff and go deep down in the dark</p><p>of the night in the run-on stream of time</p><p>carrying it all around and away again</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815447726869867101.post-78939352784152333662023-06-01T16:08:00.005-04:002023-06-22T20:57:44.550-04:00until<div style="text-align: left;">you wanna eat until you're full</div><div style="text-align: left;">you wanna live until you die</div><div style="text-align: left;">you wanna love until you're loved</div><div style="text-align: left;">then quit </div><div style="text-align: left;">and say goodbye </div><div style="text-align: left;">when people ask what happened</div><div style="text-align: left;">you want silence in reply </div><div style="text-align: left;">the hollow sound of guilt</div><div style="text-align: left;">echoing a hundred whys -</div><div style="text-align: left;">and when you're dust - to dust</div><div style="text-align: left;">and maybe finally adored</div><div style="text-align: left;">you'll wanna want again</div><div style="text-align: left;">but you can't</div><div style="text-align: left;">anymore</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815447726869867101.post-33443442853322656062023-05-07T21:17:00.006-04:002023-05-08T17:31:53.547-04:00lazy sunday<div style="text-align: left;">on a lazy sunday the pain doesn't idle,</div><div style="text-align: left;">i wash the outsides of my apartment windows,</div><div style="text-align: left;">straining on the inside ledge wondering why even,</div><div style="text-align: left;">trying not to fall out or daring i do,</div><div style="text-align: left;">taking a shower, still as watched prey,<br />detecting the calculus in a grid of water droplets on tile,</div><div style="text-align: left;">i see it's just a system superdetermined.<br />listening to ___ from twenty years ago,</div><div style="text-align: left;">it floods into my ears and out my eyes,<br />tears falls from the past to the present for the future:<br />when i returned to ___ and learned that joy isn't for keeping,<br />when i met ___ and understood the deceit of love,<br />when i roamed the streets a beast and came home a stone,<br />when i killed ___ through negligence and stupidity,</div><div style="text-align: left;">when i'll witness ___ and feel the freedom of loss,<br />each moment is permanent vapor,</div><div style="text-align: left;">blending into the spring air</div><div style="text-align: left;">flowing in through the bathroom window,<br />laughter and screams aloft.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815447726869867101.post-49706167070879820952023-04-28T17:16:00.006-04:002023-04-28T17:20:54.618-04:00<div>Each dawn I cling to wishful visions dreamt,</div><div>As darkness shows the truth, so light conceals</div><div>cherished nightmares unowned but lent</div><div>by generous makers of the unreal,</div><div>To see them born here would be to heal</div><div>one thousand cuts, which signal not</div><div>some unjust torture nor dare reveal</div><div>an innocence, upon waking wrought,</div><div>But do bleed anew with each vile thought.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815447726869867101.post-26793391879192079162023-03-28T17:56:00.002-04:002023-04-10T11:21:10.752-04:00<div style="text-align: left;">it's not good it's not wet like the underbelly of a petal<br />it's not green it's not pregnant there's no bliss<br />and now matter how i turn it it takes no highlight<br />plants no shadow</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />i wonder if left alone<br />if i walk away<br />it'll unfold and break into itself and just</div><div style="text-align: left;">be, and be alright</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815447726869867101.post-88868573653743628432023-03-20T19:27:00.006-04:002023-04-10T11:22:00.536-04:00large withdrawal<div style="text-align: left;">there's plenty of time to be late</div><div style="text-align: left;">so why not stand in the longest line</div><div style="text-align: left;">turbocharge my zen</div><div style="text-align: left;">here #3 of 5</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">poor teller</div><div style="text-align: left;">awful undeserving teller</div><div style="text-align: left;">a throwaway moment for</div><div style="text-align: left;">everyone here</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">want not waste not</div><div style="text-align: left;">is that applicable?</div><div style="text-align: left;">this place is a cozy wreck</div><div style="text-align: left;">there's ample space to suffocate</div><div style="text-align: left;">in a stampede </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">it's my party i can cry if i want to,</div><div style="text-align: left;">sigh if i want to</div><div style="text-align: left;">die and i want to</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">my life in the line</div><div style="text-align: left;">actually feels fine</div><div style="text-align: left;">#3 of 7 now</div><div style="text-align: left;">moving on up</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815447726869867101.post-32900253273003762842023-03-10T11:26:00.007-05:002023-03-23T23:07:24.377-04:00<div style="text-align: left;">o frost,</div><div style="text-align: left;">you call, imbue</div><div style="text-align: left;">my skin with deadness that i may not</div><div style="text-align: left;">touch the grassy softness of spring,</div><div style="text-align: left;">my mind with veils of ice that i may not</div><div style="text-align: left;">know the birth of joy-giving birth that i may</div><div style="text-align: left;">settle into familiar dark alone-making rest</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">for long asleeping keeping</div><div style="text-align: left;">still, and in stillness</div><div style="text-align: left;">stay, and in staying </div><div style="text-align: left;">seek the signs, without seeing</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">until i can regenerate in reverse</div><div style="text-align: left;">and arise dream-divested,</div><div style="text-align: left;">hollowed, hallowed, starving for the onslaught of life</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815447726869867101.post-83667474701816289072023-02-22T22:41:00.014-05:002023-03-19T00:41:57.002-04:00Out on the trail founded by a hundred thousand steps <div>of beasts and beat-upon men do I wind,</div><div>ill-received and undeserving, under then among then above</div><div>a roiling cloud face rippling from sneer into filmy impassivity,</div><div>concealing there a patient darkening presence.</div><div>Even here am I watched, ever here does it wait.</div><div><br /></div><div>Out in the rain and among lone glories in a naked earthen sea,</div><div>within the sun at set and wind at rise do I sense</div><div>a growing lack, maybe there in the shadow of the fallen pine,</div><div>now maybe there in the groaning branches in mossy bondage,</div><div>an approaching nothing, like the nearing labored breathing of the mare,</div><div>burdened yet freer than me alza el vuelo do we silent partners climb.</div><div><br /></div><div>Out in the roaring mist of the summit comes one</div><div>who is always arriving, who I never meet but always know.</div><div>High above in the tectonic song of ancient fire wails a threat</div><div>only I can hear calling back through time a vision blinding.</div><div>Within the joy of rest and divine affection of nature do I stare into the black</div><div>at the formless beast that need not follow as it here remains, </div><div>that need not seize what it already owns.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815447726869867101.post-91721734695534368902023-01-26T14:34:00.007-05:002023-02-23T15:41:41.542-05:00<div style="text-align: left;">i took the shape from the cloud and put it on my phone<br />i took the call from the bird and lost it in the street</div><div style="text-align: left;">i got the thrust from the wind and tossed it in a drawer</div><div style="text-align: left;">i took the life of a lamb and shat it out</div><div style="text-align: left;">i got time to live and sold it for a watch</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">i got a timepiece and spent</div><div style="text-align: left;">time measuring time</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">i measured the correctness of the shape</div><div style="text-align: left;">the rarity of the call</div><div style="text-align: left;">the reliability of the thrust</div><div style="text-align: left;">the pleasure from the lamb</div><div style="text-align: left;">the value of time</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815447726869867101.post-78772035417399875462023-01-10T22:35:00.006-05:002023-01-19T15:38:46.338-05:00<div style="text-align: left;"><i>(in the style of aimee mann)</i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: left;">what a prisoner feels<br />it ain't wanderlust<br />no matter what the trial reveals<br />it's the chair, or bust,</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />whenever the right time was<br />to finally come clean<br />it wasn't worth the fuss<br />and without the means,</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />to lead the witness<br />or doctor the scene<br />they see a recidivist <br />low down and mean,</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /><div>in the game of crime,</div><div>you eked one win</div><div>(who's keeping score?)</div>called in the chaplain</div><div style="text-align: left;">to absolve your sin</div><div style="text-align: left;">(walk through the door)</div><div style="text-align: left;">we marked the time</div><div style="text-align: left;">when the lights went dim</div><div style="text-align: left;">(what was it for?)</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815447726869867101.post-89416012724329755922023-01-03T22:56:00.009-05:002023-01-10T14:09:07.571-05:00<div style="text-align: left;">couldn't sleep,</div><div style="text-align: left;">three nights now, 2am</div><div style="text-align: left;">dream of school again, or</div><div style="text-align: left;">cemetery, similar vibes</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">broken by the hushed</div><div style="text-align: left;">sirens outside,</div><div style="text-align: left;">urge to piss, and</div><div style="text-align: left;">god it's hot in here</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Mind,</div><div style="text-align: left;">subjugated and stupefied midday,</div><div style="text-align: left;">asserts its power at 2am</div><div style="text-align: left;"> imagination that tortures,</div><div style="text-align: left;"> analyses across time and space,</div><div style="text-align: left;"> pointless or destructive</div><div style="text-align: left;"> or destruction's the point?,</div><div style="text-align: left;"> painted hypotheticals,</div><div style="text-align: left;"> vividly self-evident,</div><div style="text-align: left;"> showy cartwheels,</div><div style="text-align: left;">yawn</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">an organ doing its thing,</div><div style="text-align: left;">not the soul, not</div><div style="text-align: left;">poetic, despite the poem</div><div style="text-align: left;">it creates of itself, awake</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">then, thankless and unseen,</div><div style="text-align: left;">eventual expansion into emptiness,</div><div style="text-align: left;">flush to the borderline</div><div style="text-align: left;">between consciousness</div><div style="text-align: left;">and -</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815447726869867101.post-9724019166948640202022-12-29T21:14:00.010-05:002023-01-10T14:11:07.751-05:002022<div style="text-align: left;">i'm not that rust on the grate</div><div style="text-align: left;">i'm not that rot</div><div style="text-align: left;">with or without, i'm never Never</div><div style="text-align: left;">well, never say never;</div><div style="text-align: left;">never for now</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">--</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">the slow rush of winter surprises all,</div><div style="text-align: left;">snaps</div><div style="text-align: left;">birds into place,</div><div style="text-align: left;">pins</div><div style="text-align: left;">the darkness down,</div><div style="text-align: left;">tilts</div><div style="text-align: left;">us farther from</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">--</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">sexual validation,</div><div style="text-align: left;">leveling up a video game character,</div><div style="text-align: left;">biases confirmed,</div><div style="text-align: left;">emotional vindication,</div><div style="text-align: left;">another glass,</div><div style="text-align: left;">another lie,</div><div style="text-align: left;">the softening emoji,</div><div style="text-align: left;">planning escape,</div><div style="text-align: left;">fantasies of</div><div style="text-align: left;">worthwhile fantasies,</div><div style="text-align: left;">constructing a ruin</div><div style="text-align: left;">to spec</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">--</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">the black year yawns to swallow</div><div style="text-align: left;">purpose in its death-like dreaming</div><div style="text-align: left;">and life flickers away on the breaths of</div><div style="text-align: left;">all who speak their truths</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815447726869867101.post-71857972892979414052022-11-22T20:19:00.004-05:002022-12-01T21:20:21.056-05:00k2hands roots, eyes sky, mind wide<div>a thousand miles an hour in naked neural halls<br />is threaded flesh as rainbow tumors undulating to <div>eject and absorb itself recursively birthing more and more</div><div>white streams that refine and lash into stellar dust inside-behind my eyes</div><div>i'm lost then found by myselves, but am i mine?</div><div>before awakening before living before killing is over-begun</div><div>behind crystalline veneers of far off too close turning glass wire</div><div>artifices of slights, heights of golden white cream to green of </div><div>circles cycling the gyre in an ever reversing spiral</div><div>form the singsong plea from selves to self, to not forget:</div><div>the game is a trick</div><div>the rules are a lie</div><div>cease this war</div><div>we'll never die</div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815447726869867101.post-62817663849934726802022-11-08T20:46:00.005-05:002022-11-22T20:19:34.278-05:00k1injected, awaken<div><br /><div>nonattachment visualized as<br /><div>slithering neon burgundy walls of velvet<br />turning a mortal coil of pixelated emerald<br />that cradles, stretches, rotates<br />the body on a plane of lucid dream<br />peekaboo on both sides of the eggshell of reality,<br />a crocodile's unblinking eye</div><div>at the boundary of water and air<br />inward the self as yolk<br />outward the source<br />the expansive answer<br />the ease of existence<br />little dendritic deaths pulling life, anchoring cosmos</div><div>the secret made obvious</div></div><div><br /></div><div>detached, release</div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1815447726869867101.post-37200459011393130792022-10-25T19:09:00.005-04:002022-10-30T17:05:19.018-04:00<div style="text-align: left;">lept in boiling lake</div><div style="text-align: left;">all that glitters is - up for grabs</div><div style="text-align: left;">and drowning us</div><div style="text-align: left;">all that's true is - up for debate</div><div style="text-align: left;">and eluding us</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">midas on the tire swing</div><div style="text-align: left;">midas on the 'gram</div><div style="text-align: left;">styrofoam scepter - grasped by cancer</div><div style="text-align: left;">jump, pussy jump</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">the followed follows</div><div style="text-align: left;">reality cleaves</div><div style="text-align: left;">the splash is posed</div><div style="text-align: left;">like a question</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">asked faultily, unanswered rightly</div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>how will we ever get out</i></div><div style="text-align: left;">the cost rises in plumes</div><div style="text-align: left;">untotalled, mingling with acid</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0