important terms

i use these to describe common scenarios in the city.

  • The Secret - a solo individual smiling mysteriously to themselves (must be a closed-mouth smile; no teeth)
  • Twincest - a gay male couple in which each guy looks and dresses alike
  • Hatsumomo - one or more individuals wearing crazy hats
  • The Gatekeepers - the pair of individuals who stand by the subway doors, blocking entry and exit
  • Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon - an asian person who you can't tell is asian until they take off their sunglasses
  • The Axe - that violent arm-swinging women do when they walk while carrying a purse, often preventing you from walking near them or passing them on a tight sidewalk (e.g. purse on right shoulder, left arm chopping backwards behind them)
  • In Love - when an individual looks at him/herself in a reflective surface while walking down the street, usually serving duck face or blue steel while adjusting their hair
  • Autopilot - when a woman unconsciously alters her path to avoid stepping on grates in the sidewalk even when she's wearing flats / sensible shoes
  • The Vest - anyone wearing a columbia fleece sleeveless zippered vest
  • A Statistic - a person who crosses the sidewalk in a herd without looking up from his/her phone

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